Water, Water Everywhere and All for Me to Drink

DESCRIPTION OF THE EARTH ELEMENT SIGN WATER Water signs are attuned to waves of emotion, and often seem to have a built-in sonar for reading a mood. This gives them a special sensitivity in relationships, knowing when to show warmth and when to hold back. At their best, they are a healing force that brings people together -- at their worst, they are psychic vampires, able to manipulate and drain the life force of those closest to them. Water signs are tuned into the many shades of meaning in relationships, and at times can absorb "vibes" from others. They have to work harder than other elements to maintain their personal boundaries.

THIS IS SO ME…
Intuitive, emotional, imaginative, nurturing, secretive, dreamy

Those with planets in Water signs are often assessing a situation by its undercurrents. It can give them an air of being aloof or even shy at first, but they're the warmest of souls when you've won their trust. Going forward in a relationship or situation often means being sure of their emotional ground, a kind of decision-making process that is baffling to others. Their perceptions border on psychic, but these insights get clouded by the intensity of feelings, or are altered by the vivid imagination.
The nuances of feeling experienced by Water signs can lead them into the arts. Some find release from their own personal dramas when they're able to express them as universal. As writers, musicians and actors, they help others make sense of the human experience. But this also happens in everyday life, since Water signs soften the edges of the mundane by padding it with emotional meaning.

Water is a formless element on its own, and that's why those with this sign are so quickly shaped by their relationships to others. They need time alone to remember where they end and others begin. And to let what's been stirred up by life find its way to a quiet calm again. These are people who need people, but also need the restoring space of solitude.

THIS IS SO US…
Water and Fire:
Water and Fire can be one steamy combination under the right circumstances. Water can add emotional nuance to Fire's instinctual responses, and help Fire learn things like tact, compassion and how to nurture. Fire can blaze a trail for Water out of the swampy abyss of inaction. Their vitality and enthusiasm lifts Water up, so they can find their way.

Just An Observation

It’s been six weeks since the wedding and I feel so much better. My mood and outlook on life has completely changed for the better. I feel lighter and not so burdened. The only thing, though, is I don’t “feel” married. I know I have a husband and I know that I’m his wife but it just feels so natural. I really love the fact that I’m not snappy with him like I was when planning our big day.

While planning the wedding, I dreaded every second. I was so worried with so many details that it consumed me and my life. I couldn’t enjoy what little time I had with David because all of that time was devoted to organizing and planning this affair. And, on top of that, this wasn’t even for us: it was for the families (well, actually his family). If I could go back in time and have a “re-do,” I would have definitely rethought our options, especially the ones David suggested initially (I’m so hard-headed it’s not even funny). Renting a couple of cabins on the Buffalo River, staying at the lodge at Azalea falls or even pitching a couple of tents at Buckville and then inviting David’s parents and maybe a friend or two of mine would have been perfect. Afterwards, we could have spent the money on our wedding on a really nice dinner for everyone in celebration and thanks for supporting our decision to spend the rest of our lives with each other. It would have been just our style and far less expensive. Even it did cost the same, though, it would have been better on our nerves.

But our wedding is in the past now. I’ve had many compliments on our wedding including how much fun some people had, which is a plus considering that some weddings can be wretchedly boring. This I take pride in. What is done is done and I accept that. It does not matter how May 9th began, proceeded and ended, David and I were married and that’s all that really matters. We can now look forward to our life together and stop worrying about the knick-picking planning that consumed us the months after our engagement.

I am comforted in the fact that our marriage feels so natural. Nothing has changed. My routine is still the same when it comes to commuting back and forth from Little Rock to Hot Springs though at times it is irksome. For example, I sometimes forget to bring/wash a certain shirt that I wanted to wear to work the next day or fret that I forgot my medication at one house. I guess having two of everything is the only solution for now. This is ok because I know that my family needs me and David has been more than helpful in understanding this. He helps where and when he can and for this I am eternally grateful. Leaving home is hard enough but when you have obligations to run two households it can make it even harder. Flexibility and patience is key. When I start school in January, I’m hoping all of this will change for the better. I will have classes in Little Rock but, hopefully, not everyday of the week. I’m also sure that I will be getting home earlier than 5:00 pm. This will help me get chores done and then spend more quality time with my family. Along with this new schedule, I should have more study time available to me and be able to get to bed at a decent time. Right now, I feel rushed wherever I stay. A few more months, though, and I hope this will all change.

I am married but I don’t feel it. I am happy and it shows. I am blessed and this makes the day go easier. I could get used to this.

Milo - it's a plant!

You never really know how "lost" you are until you've left your cell phone at home :/ What did we do before these handy-dandy pieces of machinery?

We called each other on landlines and actually talked to our friends and family without sending a text message that read "Hey." Hey?? What the...? Why didn't you just call me?! Great, twenty cents down the drain. Crap. Besides, how do you respond to "Hey"??? Uh... "Hey ... back"??? Forty effing cents. Shitake.

I've left my cell phone in Hot Springs ~sigh~

Whoever said Life was fair?

I cannot begin to express how angry and betrayed I feel by life and society. My cousin is expecting her second child at the tender age of 19 this August and has, what I feel, “stolen” the name that I chose long before this pregnancy and long before the first.

I feel that I have done “everything right” in that I’m doing things in the “proper” and acceptable order. I graduated high school in the top 11th percentile of my class (stupid band/choir/jocks – it could’ve been the top 10th percentile if I had chosen band, choir or a sport for an elective – more on this at a later date) and I had a job in high school not to mention I paid for my first and second car during this time. I went on to college, I paid for college (though I only went part time but I’d rather do it slowly than be in debt thousands of dollars) and I graduated with a 3.23 GPA, Associate of Arts. I took care of my ill grandfather and held a full-time job. I paid for my health insurance, my car insurance and any other expenses that came my way. Thank God for my good health and His guiding hand at the steering will, too, or I’d really be paying out. I practiced safe sex and even paid for my own birth control pills every single month ($360 a year for 9 years) not to mention that I took them religiously. I found a really great and respectable man, got a great job with the State, married that man and will be attending UALR Spring ’10 to finish with my B.S. in Secondary Education.

I’m ok with the fact that, at one point, this cousin wanted to better herself. She understood that she messed up and did what she thought was the right thing to get back on her feet and take care of her responsibilities. She was enrolled in all the assistant programs so that she and her first born could get medical care and be covered by insurance (she even did this the second time but on her own – no help from Daddy from what I hear), she applied for scholarships in the nursing programs that were offered and was accepted with full tuition paid, she even found a respectable young boy that wanted to not only be with her but be a “daddy” to her daughter. She was on birth control as well but how religiously, who’s to say. Now she’s pregnant with her second child. A boy. I’m thrilled for her if this is what she wants. She was going to move out and marry this boy but decided not move out or marry him (yet) because she wouldn’t get any assistance and would not have full-paid tuition for school.

I’m just pissed at the fact that the one “treasure” I wanted more than anything was to have my own Mason Lee Cornell – a name that meant more to David and me than any other name that we’ve thought about. Mason honoring David’s history and lineage going all the way back to his great-great-great grandfather (and my great-great-great grandfather, too, on the Thompson side) who was a member of the Masons. Lee was a name honoring me, my maiden name – the name that has been passed down for generations and marks the only link I have to my paternal family. Lee honor’s this cousin’s baby daddy in that it honors a tradition of “naming every [first-born] boy” on his side. Mason? “It sounded neat and we fell in love with it.” Do you not realize that you will have a Jason (the uncle) and a Mason (the nephew) in your family??

Some will read this and think I am being catty and/or unfair. Keep in mind that this is my opinion of the situation at hand and I feel that I can freely represent this opinion at my own discretion. I feel that I am more “entitled” or have better “right” to name a child Mason Lee (it sounds ridiculous as I type it but I can’t find other words to better clarify my feelings). But, lucky me, always doing everything the right way and in the correct order, gets beat with the stick again. Ah – thank you Life and all your fairness. Oh wait, was that sarcastic?

...

I am a living, breathing archive of my parents' failure. If you know my past, and if you think about this very thoroughly, you will know how true the words are.

But on the "sunny" side of things, I am a living, breathing archive of my grandfather's joy.

Newlywed Brownies and the Breaking Point

My husband, David, is a Biology major and a Chemistry minor who just so happens to love cooking and baking. When you’re a “down home” girl, like me, who just so happens to love cooking and baking as well, things can get tricky in the kitchen. “Scientists” are taught to measure; “down home” girls are taught to eyeball it.

I love my husband. I love him dearly. This includes all of his little quirks and annoying habits. I knew this going into marriage but when it comes to cooking, these little endearments rub the fur off my patience. David had never made brownies, or seen the process of, until the other night. If you are a knowledgeable cook, like David and me, you know that baking is chemistry and all the “formulas” must come out exact or you end up with either salty petrified wood or sickeningly sweet glue. But if you’re baking with Betty Crocker, her boxed “formulas” are fool proof. Really fool proof.

I begin the process. Fresh eggs? Check. Enough vegetable oil? Check. Paid the water bill? Check. The directions called for either a 13x9, 9x9 or 8x8 glass dish or metal pan. Even after all the wedding registry work, we failed to register for, or receive, a 13x9, 9x9 or 8x8 glass dish or metal pan. No big deal. I found a glass baking dish that “looks” like would work. I’m a “down home” girl; you don’t use exact measurements, right?

“What size is that?” David points to the dish.
“I don’t know but it should work,” I assure as a reach for a mixing bowl.
“What size does the box call for?” Another query from my darling husband.
“Thirteen by nine, nine by nine or an eight by eight but this one will be fine.”
“Are you sure?” DING! Unknowingly to him, my patience is being pushed.
“Yes.”

I cracked 2 large eggs into the mixing bowl and measured out a little less than 1/3 cup of oil. One third of a cup is what the box called for and I remember that this was the exact measurement because of the following:

“Is that enough oil?” He asks.
“Yes.”
“Didn’t the box call for a third of a cup?”“Yes.” Why lie? I know what I’m doing. This isn’t my first brownie rodeo.
“Then why didn’t you add the full one third?” It wasn’t a derogatory question. It was actually really naïve but I’m about to smack the boy. “I normally don’t add ALL of the oil. I figure the less amount of fat the better.”“I thought the oil was there to make them moist…” he trails off.
Oh. My. God. I reach back into the cupboard and, without measuring which I’m sure made him ancy in his pantsy, I poured what I thought to be enough to make a WHOLE 1/3 cup of stupid vegetable oil into the mixing bowl.

I stir everything together including the three tablespoons of water (“I wouldn’t think it would make that big of a difference” he says but, trust me, it does) and ask him to grease the baking dish.

“I’m curious,” he says as he walks out of the kitchen. He comes back with his measuring tape. He measures the dish. What the f… He’s measuring the dish! “Hmmm…” he says. “Looks like it’s a six by ten baking dish. Are you sure this will be ok?”“Yes, David.”

“Hmmm…” he pauses and whips out his cell phone. “Let me check and see if the volume would be right.” THE VOLUME. He’s doing the calculations for the freakin’ VOLUME of all four of the baking dish sizes on his cell phone calculator. First, he has the formulas MEMORIZED and second, HE’S CALCULATING THE FREAKIN’ VOLUME OF ALL FOUR BAKING DISHE SIZES.

“It looks like this dish has a volume that’s between the nine by nine and the eight by eight,” he concludes.

You gotta be freaking kidding me, I think to myself. “Trust me, Dave. This will work. Now, can go and grease this for me, please? Get the edges and corners.”

I try to pour the batter into the greased, almost volume correct, dish. I say “try” because Helpy Helperson is, well, TRYING to help hold the bowl while a scrape the goo out with a wooden spoon. We registered for rubber spatulas and our registry shows that SOMEONE bought the damn things for us but the utensils are no where to be seen. I scrape the mix out as best as I can. Stupid registry. “Give me the bowl.”

I put the dish of brownies into the preheated 350 degree oven (the first thing I always do before baking because THAT’S WHAT THE BOX SAYS).

“It says 30 minutes but we’ll check them in about 20,” I say.
“Ok.” I FINALLY got an agreement.

Twenty minutes roll by and I decide to check them out. Now, the box said to insert a toothpick 2 inches from the side of the pan and, if the toothpick comes out partially clean, the brownies are ready. I’m pretty sure that when I checked them with my toothpick it wasn’t EXACTLY two inches from the side but it was the side and it came out partially clean.

“Are they done?” Dave asks.
“Looks like it,” I say, very satisfied with myself.

He then gets himself a toothpick, measures out exactly two inches from the side of the dish, inserts the toothpick (which comes our partially clean) and says, “Hm. Guess they are.”

I walk away.

If I don’t break this man, I will have to break this man.

My Food "To Do" List

Whole Roasted Suckling PigWhat can I say? I’m a meatatarian. They say the skin is super crispy and the meat super moist. I am there … with some roasted potatoes and carrots.

Roasted Leg of Lamb

I’ve never had lamb but I would really like to try it.

White Asparagus I love the green I might love the white more.

Bon Bo Hue A classic Vietnamese spicy beef noodle soup with some unusual vegetation containing but not limited to lemongrass, dried chiles, mint leaves, bean sprouts, lime wedges, shredded banana blossoms and rau muong (a native aquatic tropical plant). Sounds interesting and delicious. Think Ramen but more classy.

Kobe Beef The best stuff on Earth from what I hear. Melts in your mouth … like all steak should only better.

Louche Absinthe“Traditionally, absinthe is poured into a glass over which a specially designed slotted spoon is placed. A sugar cube is then deposited in the bowl of the spoon. Ice-cold water is poured or dripped over the sugar until the drink is diluted to a ratio between 3:1 and 5:1. During this process, the components that are not soluble in water, mainly those from anise, fennel, and star anise, come out of solution and cloud the drink. The resulting milky opalescence is called the louche. The addition of water is important, causing the herbs to "blossom" and bringing out many of the flavors originally overpowered by the anise.” http://foodproof.com/blogs/view/post/100-things-you-should-eat-before-248

Caviar and BlinisI want the traditional with creme fraiche; the works.

Haggis

Gnarly lookin' fellow and the traditional Scottish delicacy. You gotta try it at least once.

Foie Gras

I’ll have to eat it on a non-diet day since it’s basically nothing but fat but I’ll counter act it by drinking some read whine and smoking a fine French cigarette. They say they are some of the healthiest people on Earth so why not?

Chrysanthemum Tea

Chhyrsanthemum is my birth flower so I feel that I must indulge my ego a bit. Plus, it's really pretty!

ODWA: List ten things you need and ten things you want.

This was a challenge. In a society dead set on materialistic things, it's hard to distinguish between what you need and what you want. This assignment really makes you ask what is selfish and what is not. A lesson my young cousin Ryan needs to figure out. I tried my best not to sound too selfish. Humilty and grace are hard concepts to accomplish in life.

1. A great attitude. I need to be happy and content with what I have. I also need have a more cheerful out look on life.
2. A better paying job. This one just isn’t going to cut it in 3 years time.
3. A bachelor’s degree. See number 2.
4. A hug. There has been a hug/snuggle deficit recently and we must get out of the red.
5. A newer car. I drive a 1998 Nissan Maxima and the thing is just about ca-put. I don’t need anything fancy; just a four door sedan with low travel mileage and great gas mileage.
6. A 30lb weight loss. According to all the BMI charts and all the world’s doctors, I’m “obese.” I don’t feel obese and I don’t even think I look that bad but regardless, for my future and my family’s future, I need to drop a few.
7. A good marriage. Marriage is work and I need to be the best possible partner that I can be.
8. A time-out. I’m stressed. I feel it. Yesterday, I was so worried about wedding planning that I could barely eat because my stomach was so upset. My thoughts are clouded and my body is sluggish because of the stress.
9. A fresher approach to work. I can’t focus on work because it bores me hence the blog posts.
10. A better connection with all of my friends. I’ve lost touch over the years. Everyone is busy with their own lives including myself but this is no excuse not to have meaningful relationships with those who love and support you. I need those connections because the years are progressing and I need to be grounded by my girls.

I want…
1. … to be finished with this wedding. Gah! Is this day EVER going to get here?!
2. … to eat as many indulgent foods WITHOUT gaining any weight.
3. … to enjoy my job but I just can’t.
4. … to travel to Europe especially Germany and Austria.
5. … to travel the U.S. as well.
6. … more vacation time to spend with Dave and my family.
7. … to not worry so much.
8. … to be a racecar driver.
9. … another puppy for Kaitie.
10. … a happy healthy family with Dave.
11. ... (I added one) a bigger house in Hot Springs.

Top 10 Annoyances

Today's ODWA was the top 20 things that annoy us but I could only think of 10 really good ones. They change on a daily basis so this is just today's list.


1. Disrespect. Complete and utter apathy towards your fellow man.
2. Migraines. Self explanatory.
3. People who don’t use their blinkers. The things have been around for over 50 years. Use them.
4. Someone asking for advice and then getting mad when it’s not what they wanted to hear. If you’re not making sense, I’m gonna tell ya.
5. Calories. They make me fat but all the nummy foods have a TON of them.
6. Swindlers. You know who you are.
7. Money. You can’t live with it; you can’t live without it.
8. Dishonesty. Do I have to explain?
9. Sunday drivers. The speed limit is 70 mph. They drive 62 mph … just to be safe. How the hell are you driving “safe” when everyone else is driving 70 – 85 mph?! You are in the way. Especially when you drive in the middle or left lane. Move! And don’t get me started on the bitches who do their hair and makeup in the car … IN THE FAST LANE. Speaking of bitches ...
10. Amy. LMAO!!

I Still Get Carded!!

You hear people say that they don’t feel their age. Well, what age do they feel? Older? Younger? I feel “on time.” I don’t feel old though I know I’m somewhat wise beyond my years. I don’t feel young, either. Just about every morning I wake up with some sort of ache or pain and then hear the crackle of my joints as I walk down the hallway. I do yard work and I’m stiff the next morning. So I know I’m not young.

I’ve had many experiences in my life that have aged my mind. Maybe it’s not so much my mind but my conceptions of the world. I’ve grown up fast because of those experiences, too. You have to because you’re forced to. At the tender ages of adolescence, a child who is immature of the mind cannot begin to grasp or reason why the world, and the ones they trust, can be so cruel. It’s not fair and thus the lesson.

I don’t fear age. Yes, I have several grey hairs sprouting out of my head right at my natural part that I’m not fond of but I am by no means vain about my appearance. I threaten to dye my hair but I know I won’t do it. It’s my sheer laziness that prohibits me from maintaining beautiful, dark auburn locks for the rest of my life though the color is quite appealing to me. I don’t wish to by young again. It was hard growing up. I was teased when I was in grade school. I was fat. I was loud. I had braces and bad, frizzy hair and worst of all I was smart and I knew it. You were that age. You know how it went.

I don’t want to go back to seventeen either unless I can have that body with it. That was equally frustrating. It was fun being somewhat naïve and carefree but looking back, I did some STUPID things that I wish I hadn’t. I know what they mean when they say “I would go back but only if I knew what I know now.” My early twenties are out of the question, too unless, as mentioned before, I can have the body with it.

Here I am cusping on the edge of 30 and I’m quite happy. There are ups and downs that I struggle through but knowing how proud my family is of me (and a “thank you” for the ones who voiced this to me) makes me feel better about the decisions I made. I can’t change the past. And I’ll ruin the present by thinking of the future, so why not just be content and happy that everything turned out “ok”?

I can’t help but be giddy about the next step in my journey.

My Favorite Childhood Story Book

The Pokey Little Puppy. It's an absolute classic!

It's a story about a puppy who pokes around and looses his family because he wanders off (good moral!) but he finds his way back to his mama and siblings. So sweet!

I loved the art work, too, and I think that the pictures were my inspiration to become an artist.

25 Things: Our Daily Writing Assignment

The ODWA was to list 25 things I would like to do in my life. They are as follows:

1. Quit my current job and go to school full-time
2. Obtain my Bachelor’s Degree (preferably Graphic Design but leaning towards Education)
3. Travel the United States
4. Fly
5. Travel to Europe (preferably Germany and Austria)
6. Have a happy marriage
7. Be a mother of three children
8. Weigh as much as I did in high school
9. Get a tummy-tuck
10. Be happy with who I am
11. Paint on a daily basis
12. Learn to draw the human figure or at least the hands
13. Stop being afraid to show my art to others
14. Know that I am a good artist
15. Know that I am a good person
16. Wear my skin with confidence and dignity
17. Stop swearing so much
18. Learn to accept the things that I simply cannot change with my persuasions
19. Walk Kaitie-Bug every day
20. Find a career that I truly love so that I may enjoy my life
21. Make a full Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinner… by myself
22. One day find out how proud my family actually is of me
23. Meet Erin and establish a good relationship with her
24. Become closer to my heavenly Father
25. Love and be loved

Hookie II

After sipping through half of my coffee and telling Kaitie to stop pouting for the fourth time, I'd decide that I am bored with CNN and the ADHD inspired screen (stupid ticker). I'd get off the loveseat and venture off to find a clean pair of jeans and some sort of shirt. I need to fold clothes. Bad. Three loads have already accumulated onto the living room couch this past week. "I wish Dave were here," I think to myself, "I'd make him do it...he he." I'd find my "comfy" jeans, a pair of skivvies, a bra and an oversized t-shirt dated from the 2005 St. Patrick Day parade in Hot Springs.

After changing, I'd head back to the living room and flip on the T.V. to channel 58: Food Network. Ah's yeah. I'd fold clothes while I watched some really tastey, extremely easy meal being prepared and make a mental note to look up that recipe and make it all the while knowing that I will forget to do so and I'm being too lazy to write myself a note. Kaitie would be laying right at my feet. Pouting.

I'd put all the clothes away and start another load to pile on the couch later. This will be next week's job. I'd bring out the vacuum from the hall closet and Kaitie would be at the back door BEGGING to be let out. She doesn't care for the loud monster that threatens to attack her everytime I plug it in. I don't chase her with it; I would never do that. She just doesn't like it. I'd start lightly vacuuming, dusting and mopping the entire house. Might as well. It seems to me I get more work done when I'm not at work. Hell, this BLOG is effing proof of that LOL. After I finish the house, I'd let Kaitie come back in, wiggle bottom and all. The house is safe and the monster has left. She want's a treat.

By this time, it would probably be about 1pm. I wouldn't have eaten yet and I probably wouldn't either. The wedding has my nerves so frazzled my stomach knots up at the thought of any food OR wedding crap. I'd nibble a piece of cheddar cheese and a couple of Saltines with some water while I watched another tastey meal being prepared on Food Network. I'd probably get bored and start cleaning out rooms and packing things away. Oh, wait! I have a load of clothes that needs to go in the dryer. After putting the load into the dryer, I'd continue on the rooms after beginning washing the Oldman's sheets off of his bed.

Dave would have called twice by now asking what I've been doing. I would tell him and be slightly irked when he began talking about work. "Blah blah reports...Blah blah paycheck .... Blah blah got to get blah blah finished ..." I zone out. Half the time I have to tell him to stop talking about work and focus on personal issues and conversations. It's a pet peeve but luckily I have mastered the zoning before the marriage ;)

Around 3, I would take Kaitie, and myself, for a walk. She'd pull on the leash for the first quarter mile and after that, we'd be walking even. We'd get home about half an hour later and she'd spread out across the kitchen tile where it was cool. I'd give her a small icecube and she'd roll it around in her maw a few times before spitting it out and letting it puddle on the floor. Later I would walk into the kitchen and step in the pool. Piece of shit.

When we got home, the Oldman would be hungry. I would make him tomato soup and a grilled cheese and ham sandwich. He would want milk with this meal and, of course I have forgotten, we're out of milk. "Crap." I'd drive to the little Hess station in Mabelvale, grap a gallon of 2% milk and pay the flirtatious black guy behind the counter while the oriental guy would smirk at the situation and eat his banana Laffy Taffy. I hate that store.

I'd plate dinner for the Oldman as well as Kaitie. She'd sniff it and turn her nose only to go back an hour later and devour the morsels like she hadn't eaten in three days. At this point, I'd take the biggest soup pot we have and fill it with water to be boiled for a nice, hot bubble bath. The hot water from the water heater has to travel from the front of the house to the back and tends to cool down by the time it roars into the tub. I heat the water on the stove so as to keep the water nice and lava-like. After mixing my bath water, I'd hook up my iHome and pick Josh Groban to relax to while I soak amongst my lavender bubbles, candles flickering against the dim bathroom's walls. I'd have my tall glass of ice water handy (I need something to sip on while I cook myself) on the wicker hamper along with my phone. Just as I'd slip into the magma frothing with bubbles and adjust accordingly, the phone would ring. David. Of course. It never fails. As soon as I am busy or relaxed he callse. It's funny and endearing.
"Hey, sweetie, what are you up to?" he would chime.
"Nakie in a bubble bath," I would say bluntly.
"Reowr..." he'd growl and I'd laugh. I'd tell him I'll call him back in about an hour.
"Ok, I love you *MUWHA!*"
Ah...Sing to me Josh...

As I lay in the middle of my bedroom floor, naked, the Oldman would call out in the hallway, "Are you done in here?" He means the bathroom.
"Yes..." I say.
"Ok, I'm gonna brush my teeth and go lay me down," he'd say. It must be 7 o'clock. Damn, already?
"Ok. Love you! See you in the morning, Papa!"
"Love you, too! Good night!" He such a sweet man. Even sweeter for not walking in on me while I sprawled out, butt-ass naked, in the middle of my bedroom floor.

I'd put my robe on and head to the den's couch for some evening T.V. Hmmm...What to watch? "Crap." I gotta call Dave. We'd talk for about an hour and a half and I'd be getting sleepy. Kaitie would be sprawled out under the coffee table, snoring loudly. Very loudly. I'd tell Dave that I love him and that I was going to go lay down all unbenounced to him that I was going to go and fall asleep to The Princess Bride in my bedroom. After hanging up with him and wishing him good night and all the kisses in the world, I'd ask Kaitie "Wanna go hang?" She'd perk up, run through the hallway to my bedroom and hop up onto the foot of my bed. I'd crawl in with her, move her out of the way with my feet (piece of shit) and be lulled away to "As you wish..."

I haven't eaten dinner! ... "Crap."

Hookie

I can't help but think what would happen today if I had not gotten out of bed and came to work. The more I think about it the more I wish it came true.

I would probably sleep in until 7. Why so early? My bladder. I'd go back to bed, sleep until 8 and then, again, be woken by the bladder. Stupid bladder. By this time I would have said "Screw it," put on a pair of scrub pants, my robe and shuffled to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Kaitie would have heard me by now and would have greeted me at the end of the hallway, tail wagging, jumping around. I'd bend down to pet her and she'd lick my fingers and arm. She loves me ;) Back to my primary goal at the moment: coffee.

The tile would be cold against my bare feet as I crossed the kitchen floor to the sink to wash my hands of Kaitie lickings. We don't have a coffee maker and haven't had one in the Oldman's house in over 12 years. It's kinda sad. I love the smell of brewing coffee (except when I have a migraine) and I love the taste of the brewed beverage with a spoonful of sugar and a splash of milk (low fat, of course). He uses instant. Yeah, instant. Not the best stuff in the world but, hey, I don't have soda in the house and I NEED the caffeine. I boil the water in the glass kettle that sits on the back burner and prepare my cup: one spoonful of instant coffee, one spoonful of sugar. The water comes to a boil and I pour. Now for the mil... Ah, shit. We're outta milk. "Crap" is what I would say and few other mumblings under my breath and in my mind ALL containing a curse or five. I use non-dairy creamer instead. All the while with Kaitie at my feet.

I'd plop myself in the loveseat and rest my feet on the small leather ottaman strategically placed in front of aforementioned loveseat. The Oldman would say "Good afternoon," even though it was only 10 after 8, I'd grunt and sip my coffee while Kaitie licked my toes (this dog is a constant licker). CNN would be on and Kaitie would be consistantly squeaking her "baby" - her only form of communication when you're not paying her any attention. We'd play fetch for a few tosses before I got sick of her not bringing the thing BACK to me after she chases after it. Piece of shit.

More to come...

T-minus II

It's getting closer and closer. My wedding day that is. It's almost scary. No, it IS scary that Dave and I only have 7 more weeks until "May-Day". Our first RSVP card came in and we have just resolved our second vehement disagreement. Hopefully, after the wedding, our nerves will calm, our tempers will cool and we can enjoy the wedded bliss that is supposed to lay before us.

I've been checking the Farmer's Almanac like crazy hoping, praying for sunshine and cool breezes for our outdoor Ouachita wedding. Lately, it's been nothing but rainy, cold and dreary. Not ideal for an outside wedding but if worse comes to worse, we will be fine and we'll be married no matter what.

The Oldman gave me a great compliment today. I shouldn't say he gave ME the compliment alone; it was directed to Dave as well. As we were discussing the approaching day, he confided that we, Dave and I, are lucky to have one another. So sweet! He has faith that Dave and I will "make it" through the years. I think he's right.

I'm so crafty, I amaze myself.

So, I was pondering about something nice to give to Trisha, Missy and the other girls (the girlfriends of Dave's friends) for helping out with the wedding. It dawned on me: pill boxes! They're cute, practical and you don't necessarily have keep pills in them (well, ok maybe a multi-vitamin). They're good for traveling, too. So I found this sight that sells aluminum, hinged pill boxes. Plain, yes, but I'm going to decoupage them! This will make them special and unique and you never know how much they could be worth a few years down the road when I become an "artist" LOL...

The First Fitting Was Not

I had my first dress fitting January 30th. I pulled into the boutique's parking lot and they had it on display! ~gasp!!~ It was so beautiful! I tried mine on and well, it WAS beautiful, gorgeous actually, but I wasn't the most comfortable in it. It was very comfortable, dance worthy but I didn't get the "butterflies" I thought would be associated with trying on this gorgeous gown. I knew I was getting married. In this dress. In 98 days. That's all it was to me: a dress.



I haven't been the one to have princess dreams of my wedding day. Actually, weddings (and marriages for that fact) haven't been a big ordeal in my family. The J.P. was good enough for anybody and that's what everybody did. My generation hasn't expressed the same views as the older generations. I grew up with 7 other cousins, all girls, who have been married and have had the big "to-do's". I don't care for it. I told David that I would like to elope and use the money for a nice vacation somewhere really nice and out of the country. That was a no-go from the get-go. We're both only children but his family is much smaller than mine so weddings are a big deal. There is him and his one cousin. That's it. And the family is really, really close. We couldn't elope alone which is what I wanted. Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Great-Aunt Sally and Second Cousin Tom ALL had to be there. So we decided to plan a small, casual wedding. Small meaning immediate family and our closest friends and casual meaning finger foods and suits. This has not been so because of extended family. VERY extended family. ~sigh~

Going back to the dress. So, the first fitting was not a "fitting" per se. It was only a lets-see-if-my-fat-ass-can-fit-into-this-dress fitting. It did. And now I have more reason to run those 6 flights of stairs and run on my handy-dandy treadmill everyday until then. Go me.

First Day Down

I made it through my first day of the Challenge. I am very proud of myself! I walked 1.42 miles in 30 minutes and lifted weights for 15 minutes. I am just a touch sore but nothing I can't handle. Ha! Today will be a little iffy on the working out because I go for my first dress fitting this evening. I'm not too excited about it; I'm just indifferent. All the people I want there can't be there to and all the people that should be there don't want to be there. So I'm going alone. I did forget my camera this morning when I left for work. Bummer.

98 Days 'til May Day. Gotta run those stairs :P

T-minus...

... 99 days (or 14 weeks) until my wedding day. Yikes.

14 Day Challenge

It's been a month to the day since I have posted last. I thought today would be a wonderful day to finally enter an ACTUAL blog because the day is the first day of my 14 Day Challenge. My group-ees from Livestrong.com have asked if people wanted to do a 14 day challenge to kick off the new year. I thought, "Hell. Why not? At work, they are doing the Biggest Loser and I have my wedding May so I might as well pull on the tennis shoes, down the green veggies, drink the coldest water I can stand and just DO this thing."

So I am. I've gained a staggering 3 pounds since the weekend and I am hoping that this is only water weight ~nervouse "heh heh"~. If it is water weight, then it shouldn't be a problem to knock it back off. I hope. Oh please oh please oh please oh please! I've signed up to lose 6 pounds in 14 days and here we go...